It is said that when you get past the age of needing to be parented, or reined in, or something, you have to do it to yourself, right?
Wellll, that's kinda where I'm at, in this moment of time.
Because damn it, I have an idea for another blog. Yeah, my creative brain just cannot imagine my universe without another blog.
And the Moon in Capricorn is saying, "Whoa, Horse-Woman (my Chinese astrology sign is Horse and my Ascendant is Sagittarius. Go figure). You need to corral your productivity to the ones you've got."
I know this is entirely true, but what do you do when your brain and smart-arse self disagree with this level of discipline and want to go overboard anyway, just to thumb their noses at any kind of finger-wagging "authority," even if that authority supposedly comes from within.
Supposedly.
"All right," Cappy Moon relents. "Create the new blog, but get on a routine of posting to the other blogs first, and see if you can handle the load."
But I still have to ask myself why I want to create another blog when I've got others I have yet to really keep up with. Is it just the constant urge to create, all the crazy-arse ideas I've got floating about in my head that desire to be expressed?
Haha...Madonna's old song "Express Yourself" just popped into my head.
So, what? Now I gotta create another freakin' blog just to let off some freakin' steam, because I've got a big part of me that is so freakin' wound up and tense that it's gotta crack snarky jokes just to relieve tension?
Maybe...but I'm thinking better of it because maybe meditation and just plain working on my music or whatever might help relieve some of the inner turmoil.
Or all that might just be a band-aid. Who the hell knows? The only way to know is to try out that first idea before getting all impulsive like I usually am.
In all truth, maybe I just need to get all Zen like the character "Chien-Po" from "Mulan" and say, "Relax and chant with me..." Sounds like a pretty nice invitation, actually. I knew there was a reason I liked that character, as secondary as he was.
Then there's the roaring side of me that just wants to let out a cathartic scream of utter frustration because she's too tightly wound from feeling limited in any way. There is a huge difference between discipline-by-choice and feeling forced to do things another person's way just because they think they have all the freakin' answers. I will accept someone else's tutelage if I feel it's right for me. If I don't think it's right for me, and they still force their ideas on me, fuhgeddaboudit!
Anyway, I'm gonna cut off this ramble before it gets entirely out of hand.
Pax Felinum,
Kat ^.^
No comments:
Post a Comment