Waking Up To Fun

One of the things I was thinking about was how I worry sometimes about how I am going to get things done in a day. Part of it is worry, part of it is excitement about all the enjoyable things I want to do--and I want to do everything in one day.

But then I got this idea in my head that both soothed the worry, and reminded me of one of the greatest joys about being a kid. It's actually kind of a painful joy.

It's the joy of "What are we doing tomorrow?"

Ironically, it's that kind of "I can't wait till tomorrow" feeling that makes me want to do everything right now, today, because what I have in my head that's so enjoyable for me gets my engines going.

But it's that excitement that also burns me out, gets me distracted and creates organizational hell for myself. Because for me, sometimes everything seems important right now, it's burning a hole in my brain if I don't act on things now,
and that's just me putting pressure on myself because all the things I want to do right now seem like so much fun, usually.

You can see where this is going. :P

So my wiser, adult self has to remind my inner kid that anticipation is truly half the fun of planning, setting aside certain activities for certain days instead of thinking we have to do it all today, even if we want to do it all today.

But then I feel like if I plan too loosely, I get distracted by the truly non-essential things that pull me away from the truly fun, creative stuff that brings me that joy.

So, I think a balance has to be struck between the fun things that I consider essential and the fun things that are not-so-essential.

And the key to that balance just might lie in the concept of "waking up to fun." Waking up every day and asking, "What kind of fun, creative things are on my list?" And then whatever doesn't get done goes on the next day's list without any self-abuse, without any shame. Because those negative vibes just ruin it for me. I've had enough shame dumped on me, teaching me to dump it on myself. I am so done with that way of thinking, that way of living, because it gets me absolutely nowhere.

It's time to wake up to how fun life can really be, if the perspective of fun and joy is held in the soul, instead of "Ugh, we gotta do this, and this, and that, there's not all the time in the world, gotta rush, rush, rush or else there's gonna be hell to pay," and so on. I am so done with that negative vibe. So done with that hamster wheel of unhappiness. My inner hamsters are starting to rebel. Their wheels are squeakier than they are, and they've pretty much formed a union that says "We want more fun thoughts! If we're gonna work for you, we want fun wheels to spin! Fun wheels get more creative work done. Which would you rather look at--happy, multicolored wheels that create lots of happy party balloons, or sad, creaky, rusty wheels that only churn out sad, shame-filled balloons, and only a few at a time?"

My inner kid's like, "Happy balloons!"

Smart kid!

Pax Felinum,
Kat ^.^